Plan B is the new Plan A
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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