That's when you crack a 10am beer
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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