Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
