Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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