so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
He better not be in your backpack
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Randomize
