guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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