Heybabeimwearingurpanties
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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