ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
