You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
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