new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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