He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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