I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
