Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
