I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
