Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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