Banned from zoo.
Again?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize