i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
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