I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
