Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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