Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
