So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
