Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Come see our sink grown plant.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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