It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
We don't watch enough power rangers
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
