Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Randomize
