apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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