Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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