i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Randomize
