So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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