Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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