You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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