FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I want you more than these girls want KFC
smell my finger.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
