So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
