can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
