I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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