My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Gay?
German.
Pity.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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