Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
