Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
