Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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