i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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