I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
they need to just BURY HIM!
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
