I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
