"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
