Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
We're not piercing ourselves today.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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