I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize