We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
