Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
