all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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