I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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