i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
