saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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