margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
