my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
