Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
not ubering you a puppy
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
