so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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