I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
