I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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