TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
