I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
