YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
