the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
