I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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