Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
